


Too Good For Me

by ParzivaI



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hope vs. Despair, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 22:58:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13867785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParzivaI/pseuds/ParzivaI
Summary: Hanzo and McCree meeting in their early life. (Be prepared for heartbreak)





	Too Good For Me

'He was a good for nothing, a twat who knew nothing about the world and didn't care about anyone but himself. At least that's what I thought when I first met him.'

Hanzo hated every second he had to spent in this rotten country, that was so different from his home. His father wanted him to take care of the family business, for that he sent him to America, Route 66, more specifically, the home of the deadlock gang. He was a 17 year old boy, forced to take on his father deceptive practices.

The Deadlock gang was an infamous organization full of criminals, cutthroats and traitors.

'Noone's there to trust. Keep that in mind, Hanzo.' That's what his father said. 'Just be sure they make their profit. Don't provoke anyone.'

Nothing special at all, but still. Being surrounded by so many weird figures made even Hanzo nervous. He took one deep breath before stepping into the shabby tavern. He almost passed out because of the dusty air inside. As he looked around almost everyone was smoking their lungs out, drinking, dealing drugs. Hanzo encountered the man behind the bar.

"Who's in charge here?", he asked the bartender with a sharp, unfriendly voice.

"Who wants to know?", the bartender countered just as bugged.

"Hanzo Shimada." He watched as the other guys eyes widened as he heard his surname.

"Shimada, you mean like…"

"Yeah, the Shimada clan." Hanzo sighed. He was sick of other people reacting, as he told them his name. At some point it just became annoying. As soon as anyone heard he's from the Shimada clan, they started treating him differently; with massive respect, almost fearful. As if they were afraid of him. 'But that's my father not me.', he thought.

"Did we do something wrong, Mr. Shimada?", the bartender asked, now in a nice tone and with fear in the eyes.

"Everything's alright, I just came to check by and see if you're doing your job as well as always. You know we want to see some kind of result in profit once in a while.", Hanzo said quite provoking but determining.

"Yes Sir, we're doing just fine nothing to worry about. You'll see the money as soon as we get it."

"Not good enough.", Hanzo said, just to see the face of the bartender getting even more anxious. 'This is way too much fun', he said to himself.

"I'm sorry, Sir, we're doing our best. But things aren't easy right now.", the guy stuttered. "May I bring you something to drink?"

"Oh how observant of you. Is there any chance of getting Sake in here?", Hanzo asked nicely, chuckling inside. 'No way they're gonna have his favorite Japanese wine here.' And as he saw the bartender starting sweating, he knew he was right.

"I, err, doubt so-", he started just to be interrupted by some loud voice right behind Hanzo's back.

"Bring this man a shot of Whiskey. And one for me too!"

As Hanzo turned around to see, to whom this raspy voice belongs to he had to surpress a gasp.

The boy was about his age. Brown, long hair, an achingly beautiful voice, despite his unclear skin and this arrogant smile, he was inspecting Hanzo with. His beard wasn't even covering half of his chin, but you can tell he was more than proud of it, considering the fact he probably hasn't ever shaved. The black cowboy hat he was wearing felt way too big for his head, but suited his appereance just perfect. He was wearing a red flanell and brown pants, that looked shabby, underlining his whole look. But still, in some kind of way he managed to look beautiful.

The stranger grinned even wider as he caught Hanzo staring at him.

"It's on me, pretty boy.", he said, his voice was now smooth, not as raspy and deep as before.

"Show some respect kid!", the bartender shouted angrily. "He's a Shimada. You know our boss from Japan?"

For a moment the Cowboy looked irritated. Then he took a pick from the counter, chew on it and started grinning again.

"Yeah I don't care who he his or what's his last name. I don't take commands from anyone either way." Provocatively he looked at Hanzo, who didn't know wat to say. He was utterly surprised by the young boy.

"Damn brat. Apologize immediately!", the bartender was raging now.

The boy raised one eyebrow without saying a word. And that was the thing that took the bartender over the edge as he strokes out to smash his fist at the cowboys face. He tumbled back, blood running out of his nose and his lip.

"You're a disgrace kid. I don't know why they keep you anyway."

The bartender turned around to the still speechless Hanzo.

"I'm sorry Mr. Shimada, I promise, he'll be punished for this."

'This is so out of my league.' Hanzo has never experienced something like this before. Never has he seen this amount of pure violence in his life, despite his father being involved in the biggest illegal business in the world. Going from slave trade to small drug services. Hanzo knew he kept the twisted more cruel tactics behind closed doors, but still was he overwhelmed by everything that just happened.

"No, … It's, it's alright I'm going to take care of it myself.", he finally managed to get his voice under control as he turned around to the stranger. "I want to talk to you."

The dark-haired boy wiped off the blood, dripping out of his nose and spit on the ground.

"It's McCree by the way."

His provocative way of speaking started to get on Hanzo's nerves. Still was he fascinated by the way the boy reacts. He was so different from all the people he met at home.

"Well then, McCree. Come with me?"

"Why would I though? I don't take orders from you."

Hanzo sighed. What a hard-headed idiot.

"Cause if you don't leave with me those guys here won't go easy on you since they don't seem too happy to have you here."

McCree looked worried for a brink of moment as he took a look around but then put on his winning smile again.

"I don't care. I can take them."

'Is he serious right now? Is he actually searching for trouble?' Hanzo was almost speechless but came up with an idea. "You're a coward. Admit it, you're simply too scared to take me on."

The Cowboy hesitated for a moment, his expression changed and he looked angrily at the other boy.

"I'm not afraid of anything!", he responded, clenching his fist. Hanzo had to surpress a smile. He got him right where he wants to.

"Well then," Hanzo turned around, leaving the tavern, aware that McCree is following him. The other people, who were sneakily looking at them, curious about the outturn of the situation, started following their conversations again, as they left. The Barkeeper was still shouting apologies but Hanzo completely ignored him.

McCree immediately took the lead, guiding Hanzo to a small cliff, away from the tavern. Hanzo was more than happy to be wide away from those people in there. The whole atmosphere made his flesh crawl.

"Don't want all the people to see the high Shimada loosing against me, right? I mean, you truly got a reputation to lose."

"You do realize, I only said this so I can drag you out there, right?"

For a short amount of time the Cowboys expression changed from confused to angry only to put on his usual, cool expression again.

"Hm, I'm actually thinking you're a coward. You challenged me to a fight but now you're too afraid to lose."

Hanzo sighed. Wow, he never could've imagined running into such a great wall with this boy.

"Well, then show me what you got."

The young Cowboy didn't hesitate, started running offensively towards Hanzo, striking for a critical hit to his head.  
'So predictable', Hanzo thought, dodging McCree's blow. He outflinged his dagger, while sneaking behind the back of the boy, holding it on his throat.

"Not so smart now, huh?", Hanzo grinned as he let go of him. McCree flinched, strangely quiet.

"How, … How did you do this?", he first asked surprised, then catching himself. "Like of course, I didn't give it my everything but still…"

"Hm, sure." Hanzo slowly started to be stressed out because of the boy's attitude. But instead he asked him: "How are you doing this?"

"Whataya mean?"

"Why aren't you treating me like anyone else? With fear and respect? What makes you so special?", Hanzo looked down, trying to avoid McCree's look.

"It's simple. You're nothing special. At least not to me. Names don't mean a thing to me. And no one, especially not you or your precious family can command me. I live for only myself it's my right to stand up for myself."

Hanzo didn't know what to say. Never has he met someone this direct, someone who thought so different but stood up for it. He gained Hanzo's respect as he stepped in on him, despite his name, but his attitude and his weird, attractive manner made him even more interesting.

"Don't you have a family or friends, that mean something to you, someone who's worth living for?"

The cowboy looked down with a saddened expression on his face. "Not everyone has a perfect family, pretty boy."

Hanzo winced. "You don't know anything about my family.", he whispered, plodding by McCree, sitting down on a stone on the cliff. From above here he was able to look down at the whole city, it was truly an astonishing scenery, but his eyes were soonly attached on the cowboy again, who stood up too, sitting next to him.

"Sorry, shouldn't have said this. I'm just not out of sorts when it comes to family. I…-", he stuttered and Hanzo could sense his eyes tearing up. "I lost my parents when I was a kid. Found them dead at our home. They were murdered." He took a deep breath, his voice started shivering. He took off his hat, running is fingers through his bristled, brown hair, before continuing with more anger in his voice.

"It's just unfair. We never had much money, you know. And then someone like you comes around, with his family, and money and everything one could wish for. What do you have that I don't?"

McCree breathed heavily, his chest was pumping and his eyes were full of tears. The swollen lip and the black eye, he just gained from the fight with the bartender before, made him look even more miserable. Hanzo couldn't even be mad for what he said.

"Sorry, I did it again. I didn't mean to offend you...", his voice was shivering even more than before and Hanzo suddenly felt the urge to wrap his arms around the boy and comfort him.

"I'm sorry to hear that, McCree.", said Hanzo and he really did mean it.

"Jesse, I'm…, my name is Jesse. I just don't tell anyone, because I feel like it's something important to me. Stupid, I know." He smiles again. And this time it wasn't this arrogant grin, it was honest, pure and dear god, his smile shined brighter than any sun.

Hanzo lost himself in Jesse's smile and didn't even recognized that the other boy looks over to him with a rather worried expression.

"Sorry, err, did I say something wrong? I know the name doesn't suit me at all." There again. His smile.

"No, no it's alright. tI really does suit you just perfect. Eh, I'm Hanzo.", the older stumbled and hold out his hand. For a short moment McCree looked confused, examining Hanzo's action as if he didn't know what to do, but then reached out to shake his hand. To Hanzo's surprise his hand was warm and comfortable, even though it was kind of rough, probably from all the time living on the streets.

"And again. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have flipped. It's obviously not your fault."

McCree stopped: "And it's actually not that bad. Living on the streets alone, you know. I got a place to sleep, I get more than enough money for dealing with the deadlocks and there's no one I have to follow word from. So, it's actually quite nice."

He lied. Hanzo could sense it. But a part of him actually wanted the exact same life McCree was describing.

"So, pretty boy, what brings you he- "

"You don't have to lie.", Hanzo disrupted him.

"What?"

"You don't have to lie about how you feel. If you still feel sad about what happened, don't lie to yourself and just admit it, so you can overcome the pain.", Hanzo looked him in the eyes; his still glassy eyes, but yet full of hope.

"I'm not lying though… Sure once in a while I would like to know how it feels to have a family again but still, I'm ok with how my life is right now."

'How can he still be so positive and true to himself after all that happened to him?' Hanzo didn't understand. This boy was truly one of a kind.

"Enough about me, what is the son of the boss of the Shimada clan doing in such a shithole like Route 66?", McCree broke the silence again. Seems like he is not good with quiet in general.

"Wait how do you know about my father?", Hanzo asked surprised.

The boy grinned again. "Come on, darling. I'm not stupid. The name of the Shimada is mentioned more often than you can imagine here since they're our bosses. And I overheard yours once in a while too. You're quite famous there it seems. Maybe that's what I was kinda jealous about."

"Well, I'm noone to be jealous at.", Hanzo responded with a cold tone.

"How is it possible to not be jealous at these broad shoulders?" McCree giggled and not even Hanzo could hold back a little laughter.

"You look really cute when you're laughing instead of wearing that serious face, did anyone ever told you that?", McCree said now with a serious look.

Hanzo doubtfully starred at the boy. 'Is he joking right now? And why am I feeling so shy and insecure all out of a sudden?', Hanzo thought before finally getting his voice back.

"No, actually I don't like being around people, even so I'm not around people that make me laugh."

"You're telling me the Hanzo Shimada doesn't like partying and going to noble family gatherings?", he laughed.

Hanzo looked away: "You don't know anything about me. I would do almost anything to live like you do… Only for myself, making my own decisions. I don't wanna live in the shadow of my father anymore, do only the things he wants me to do, ignoring my own feelings. I'm sick of only living like a puppet."

"Didn't expect that, to be honest. I'm sorry. I heard something about your brother. He seems to live a normal life, from what I've gotten. Why can't you then?", McCree asked looking down at the city while the sun slowly sets its way to sundown, diving the sky into a beautiful shade.

Hanzo hesitated. He felt a connection between him and the other boy but still, he didn't feel comfortable telling him the story of his life and opening his feelings. Not yet. So he stood quiet. Saying nothing, he just enjoyed the beautiful scenery the sundown presented. He felt the Cowboy getting more and more impatient as he kept silent.

"I'm not gonna be mad if you don't wanna talk about it."

Wow he really can't stand quiet.

"But you know, since you said you wanna live like I do, why don't you come with me for the time you're forced to stay here? Maybe the outlaw life suits you?", he laughed.

Since Hanzos father told him to come back as soon as he could, he wasn't allowed to do so but to his own surprise he affirmed McCree's invitation.

"Sure won't be so bad seeing the other side of the medal, right?"

The Cowboys eyes widened in delight but he immediately tried to keep it cool again.

"Alright then, pretty boy.", he stood up, put on his hat again and offered Hanzo his hand to get up.

"You know I would really appreciate it if you would just call me Hanzo.", he sighed.

McCree smirked: "Not a chance, pretty boy."

The next month Hanzo spent with McCree has probably been the best of his life. The boy showed him a completely different world, where you have to fight to survive and where you can be yourself. Hanzo was both impressed and terrified of Jesse's life, he respected him more than anyone else for being able to stay so strong to himself. He took the Shimada with him to his casual dealings with the deadlocks and every time Jesse referred to Hanzo as his partner, the older could feel his heart jumping.

For the first time in forever Hanzo experienced how to enjoy and appreciate his being on earth. The late-night talks with Jesse, tightened the bound between them. The cowboys flirty, open minded character diffused Hanzo serious, straight forward mindset and after every conversation they shared Hanzo felt himself growing more and more comfortable around the other boy.

Jesse was the first person he ever opened up to. In one night where they were laying under the stars, McCree telling one of his insane stories, how he took down about twenty men all by himself (he was totally not exaggerating though), Hanzo felt safe enough to tell him all about his life and what he was so afraid of.

At first it was just everything about his father, how corruptive he has been using him, his own son for making his company more successful. Maybe he wasn't even doing it on purpose, maybe he wasn't even realizing the burden he was putting on the young boy. Hanzo told him about his younger brother Genji, or how his father used to say: the family disappointment. Since Genji didn't want to know any of their father's business he simply avoids it as much as he can. His life is only revolving around partying, drugs and girls. Hanzo was tired of the attitude of his brother but at least he was doing what he wanted and he was enjoying his life compared to Hanzo himself.

But in the end, it wasn't his brother or his father who hurt Hanzo the most. It was himself; for not having the guts to live and stand up for himself. For not being more like his brother or McCree. He hated himself because he was weak and not strong enough to turn on his father. He would've never admitted it but no one but himself was guilty for the situation he was in, and no one but himself is gonna get him out. Still he was a coward, he simply wasn't strong enough to live as he wanted. In some kind of way, he was jealous of McCree and his brother.

The whole time Hanzo was telling Jesse his story, it felt like he was talking to himself, finally admitting everything he has been holding back over the years, all the things he was afraid to confess to himself. And Jesse listened, he didn't say a word and sat silently next to him. But as Hanzo started blaming himself, he took him in his arm. He still didn't say a word, instead drew Hanzo closer to him as he pulled him into a tight, warm hug.

Hanzo was overwhelmed by the feelings the Cowboy caused by his action. Never has he experienced such a relationship in the first place. He felt safe around him, Jesse gave him the feeling that his voice and his human being matters. He has never met such a kind and honest person in his life. The feelings he grew on this outcast became stronger the more time they spent together and Hanzo didn't ever want this to end even though he knew he had to.

Hanzo's perfect world came crashing down as he received the long-feared call from his father. For the brink of a moment he actually considered ignoring him, staying with McCree but he couldn't and he was fully aware of it. He was packing up his stuff and already on the run without even saying a word to the other boy, as McCree encountered him.

"What are you doing? You've been acting weird this whole day and now you wanna leave without a word? What's the matter?", the boy asked him, more worried than angry.

"Sorry Jesse, but I have to go.", Hanzo looked down, he hated to do this.

McCree looked confused at him, he didn't understand the situation at all: "What do you mean by that?"

"My father called. He wants me to come back right now. Didn't sound happy for me being so long gone without a word."

McCree sighed, you can tell the disappointment in his face: "Do you really have to go?"

"I'm sorry, I have to.", Hanzo talked even more silent then he usually does. "I really wish to stay. With you. But I can't. Thank you for showing me your life and staying with me even after I finding out who I am.", Hanzo sighed, he already wanted to turn around and leave as McCree hold him back.

"You don't need to thank me at all. I enjoyed our time together. ", McCree was looking down, making it impossible for Hanzo to see his face.

"Just tell me: Why even go back after all the pain your family has caused you?"

Hanzo's hand started shivering and for a moment he hesitated, questioning his decision.

"It's still my family…"

It was quiet now. Neither of the two said a word. Hanzo asked himself if he totally screwed up this time, making Jesse even hate him now. 'Would probably be for the best though if he hates me. ', he thought and only thinking about McCree hating him drilled a hole in his heart. He grew feelings on the boy he couldn't even understand, never would he have imagined for Jesse to share those.

"So, when do we meet next time?", McCree asked with a sad expression and Hanzo wished he would never said the following words.

"I'm afraid there won't be a next time."

The Cowboy stopped. Hanzo hated himself for what he just said but he kept telling himself that it's probably best this way.

"Why are you saying this? Why are you like this all of a sudden?", McCree was trying to yell at him but at the end his voice began to crack and Hanzo could see his lips shiver. "How can you leave me like this, after everything we talked, the time we had." He stopped for moment, like he considered how far he can go. As he continued his voice sounded more stable and he finally managed to look Hanzo in the eyes again.

"How can you go after making me fall in love with you?"

Hanzo flinched. He didn't know what to say. He has always been thinking that the other boy simply had a flirty attitude and talked like this with anyone. Hearing him saying out loud that he had indeed feelings for Hanzo threw him off the track. It took him a moment to clear his mind, sorting out what he wanted to say. What he said didn't make a difference anyway, Hanzo strongly believed that Jesse deserved someone better than him.

McCree broke the silence first and preempted Hanzo. His eyes were still on fire, his grip on Hanzo's wrist hasn't loosen. "And don't tell me you don't feel something for me too. I can tell you do."

Hanzo exhaled: "It doesn't matter what I feel and what I don't. It would be selfish to stay."

McCree tightened his grip and pulled the older boy closer. They were almost the same height, looking into each other's eyes. Their faces so close, their noses almost touched.

"I got to know you, Hanzo: You are not selfish. You are probably the most selfless person I know. Please don't leave me alone, I can't bear losing someone close to me… again."

His eyes were slowly getting wet again and he ran his fingers through his hair. Seems like a habit of his when being nervous.

Hanzo withdrew, pulling his hand away: "You deserve someone better than me. I'm nothing but a coward, I run from the things that are good for me and I can't change it. Staying with you even though I know you deserve someone better than me is nothing but selfish."

McCree took a step back. He narrowed his eyes, preventing tears to run off. It was even difficult for Hanzo to remain his cold, serious face but he had enough experience staying emotionless and keeping a straight face.

"You know that day we first met?", McCree started. "I lied back then."

"What… do you mean by that?"

"I lied when saying you're nothing special to me. You grew to be the only one I can trust in this shit world. You told me about your life and I told you about mine. Even though we are so different we grew towards each other. And I can't just let this go."

"I promise, you're gonna find someone who treats you like you deserve it. But it won't, it can't be me… I'm sorry.", Hanzo whispered the last part, for McCree it was almost not understandable.

Hanzo took a step forward: "And since I probably won't ever see you again…", he started. "I wanted to do this for so long.", he silently said more to himself as he made another step. Hanzo felt the beat of his heart getting louder. He slowly reached out to Jesse's face, closing the gap between them, as he put his lips on the other boy to gently kiss him. Feeling the soft lips of Jesse on his, set his heart on fire but at the same time it was calming. For a short moment everything seemed perfect, it was only him and Jesse.

As Hanzo lowly let up on Jesse, he looked paranoid. He slowly opened his mouth, his lip was shaking, he was breathing heavily.

"You expect me to let you go after… this?", Jesse's voice broke at the end, he wanted to continue, trying to make Hanzo stay but he was unable to even say another word.

"I'm sorry…" Hanzo looked in Jesse's unique eyes for one last time before turning around, leaving the one person, that matters him the most. A tear was slowly running down his cheek, seen by no one but himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. Share your opinions in the comments, so I can improve my work. (First time writing Hanzo x McCree, i hope you liked it.)


End file.
